I, like many, find myself eating when I am stressed. If a difficult situation arises in my life, if I'm feeling powerless and out of control, if things are just not going the way I would have them, I can rely on food to make me feel better, at least for a little while.
I am learning how to handle stress differently. It's a process, not an overnight cure. I'm working on understanding my stress triggers, breathing techniques, and alternate ways of handling stressors, both large and small. By being self aware, I can begin to reverse some of these bad habits and hopefully teach my children how to handle daily stress in a more constructive manner.
Today's stress is brought on by school. There is a little girl in my son's class that is the "class bully" and, until recently, she had managed to focus her efforts on everyone except my son. As her latest target, Gus is understandably upset and quite shaken by being teased. Gus is outgoing and friendly. My husband calls him Will Rogers because he "never met a man [he] didn't like." However, getting on the bad side of a bad kid is to be expected. It happens to all of us. The hard part isn't even really teaching him how to deal with kids like this. He knows we are here for him and other kids in the class are rallying around him. I think he'll survive some teasing. The hard part, for me, is knowing why this little girl is the way that she is and knowing that her life is on a downhill spiral. And she's six.
I had considered, last night, talking to her mother. I thought about calling this little girl's parent to discuss the issues. I know these things never go well, but as a concerned, involved parent, I feel like I must step in some way. The school is well aware of her behavior problems as she seems to be in trouble more often than not. Unfortunately, I was easily able to find the mother's profile, which told me that her problems are far worse than this little girl's. Indeed, she was only 14 when the girl was born, and on her profile stated her affinity for open relationships and weed, with strong hints of prostitution.
This is just one example of many, I'm sure, but this is the one example we are faced with on a daily basis. Because of this little girl's home life, she takes her sadness and frustration out on those around her. We should pity the child, but to what end? How can we help her? Can we help her? If her homelife is as it seems to be, is she helpless? Is she hopeless? Signs point to yes.
There are those who may disagree with me. There are those who say that her mother may love her very much and is simply trying to get by. Agree with me or disagree with me, I'm open to your opinion. I've had actual, real conversations with this little girl and I can't even begin to touch the surface of what goes on in that house. I'm scared for her and sad for her, but I keep reminding my son not to give up on her. I may think her life is hopeless, but I don't necessarily want my son to think so too.
So, dealing with the reality of a situation that I already knew existed is more difficult in practice than in theory. There is nothing that I can do to alter this child's life. There is no amount of good vibes that will change her homelife or help her to overcome. Yes, there are exceptions, but by-and-large, the cycle continues. As long as we continue ignoring (or even supporting) those who make terrible life choices, they will continue making them.
But what does this have to do with clean eating? I'll tell you, I have the desire to drown my sorrow and frustration in ice cream. Cookies would be okay. Brownies? Why not. I'd even settle for a pizza or one of those subs from sub shop with all the mayo on it. YUMMMMMMMM. Though I know this would be a reaction to my inability for action. Because I have no power over this little girl's behavior, I want to take that power and transfer it into food. I know this, and I'm trying really hard to stop it.
Today is the last day of my 10-day clean eating challenge of no cheats. I have been 100% successful thus far and today I will not allow temptation to end a good run.
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